Men

I was eating lunch today. Looking around I saw several men eating alone. There was a similarity about all of them. The emblems on their shirts let me know they all worked at different jobs. They where different ages, had different hair styles and overall where not very similar. But still they had something in common. I thought for a few moments, contemplating what it was. Then it came to me. They all had a look of cynical pessimism and disdain. They all looked mad at the world.

A few moments latter a man in hospital scrub pants and a classy T-Shirt came in with his young attractive wife and family. He seemed different. He was confident, self assured and more pleasant. I thought of the other men I knew. A fireman who had muscles everywhere and an attractive family; he was almost always in good humor. A rich business owner, who I once saw break his leg, yet stay happy. And others who where struggling in marriages and hopping from one job to another, in disdain and depression.

What was the difference. I'm not thinking about just on that day, but the difference between a man who, as a base line emotion, is happy content, strong and confident; and the man who is pessimistic, cynical and sad. I think it goes back to what degree a man perceives he has lived up to his self envisioned potential. Not the potential he feels he has now, but that vision of life he started out with before the world crushed it. Does the man live up to the expectation the boy inside him had of himself. That seven year old boy, looking at the stars and say " I wanna be an astronaut". Or the 5 year old with a red plastic hat and his parents garden hose who dreams of rushing into the flames and saving families from the burning embers. That boy stays in us all and measures us to his expectations. Does that boy find a firefighter or middle aged man in a cubicle. We measure ourselves by our ability to fulfill our personal life vision. I think many of us feel that kid inside of us looking at us, and we dare not look in his direction, for fear our eyes will meet and the disappointment will be crushing. That causes our cynicism and depression. That kicks the air out of our lungs and shrinks our shoulders.

So what can be done? It is carcinogen to the overall organism of humanity when our men do not live up to their dreams. Like muscles atrophying from a disease, our stability as a people is waned. So what can be done? I think there are multiple faceds.

First of all the man himself, must force himself to look that boy inside himself in the eyes, apologize to him and embrace him. Then realize that every bit the potential that was in the boy is still in the man today. Time and practicalities can not erode that. But he must first break off the crust of apathy and self pity. And stand strong, pot a course and hit it hard and unyielding, like a charging rhino!

Those around the man play a roll in his vision. Many a man will yield on his vision because of the perceived pressures of the world and the short term responsibility. The family unit as a whole must realize that the ultimate health and well beeing of the family is dependent on everyone reaching their full potential, and this begins with the man. When a man is working toward the vision there may be an intermediate time when immediate needs may go unfulfilled, this is where the support must come in. The pressure must be alleviated so the man can aspire.

I have been blessed to have a wonderful wife. I remember the day she said "get a vision and I will follow you anywhere, just get a vision. " So empowering and supportive. Her strength enables me to strive after my vision and look the boy inside me and the boy that's following me, in the eye.


-Xion-